Me and Mijo are on the outs

[LauraO]

YEP! There is more Mijo (CAG) drama in the house. It all started two days ago when I came home and he was hanging off the lip of the window. I went over and gave him kisses and he was happy. Then I shut the window about two inches and he puffed up, banged his beak against the window and attacked my face, AGAIN>: . He got me good on the lip and came close to taking a chunk out of my face. In fact, he gripped my lip so hard that when I pulled away he was still atached to my face. He ended up flying off the window over my head and landed on the bed on his back. Needless to say, there was a lot of blood:eek: . I was also more pi***d at him then I've ever been because I've done everything that occured several times so I don't know what caused him to attack me. I couldn't talk to him the rest of the night outside of telling him how bad he hurt me and how upset I was.............

Well the next day things got worse. First Mijo was upset for spending most of the previous night locked up and ignored. Then he grabbed my hand and banged his beak against it and was biting it. He does this daily, but the nips have been harder and I was still gun shy. So I tried to pull my hand away and he grabbed on tighter and I got scared. I tried to shake him off my hand but he wouldn't let go. Finally, he dropped to the floor from about six inches high. The height of this fall was nothing compared to the falls he's taken from the top of the perch on top of his cage, but he happened to break off a couple of blood feathers. Well after I noticed he was bleeding I toweled him and tried to pull them out. BAD idea!!! Pulling out grey blood feathers is nothing like lovie feathers. So not only was I unable to pull out the blood feathers, but Mijo was really mad and was looking to hurt me:x :x . Luckily I had scheduled a vet appointment for one of my lovies (not Olive) so I called the vet and they agreed to help. The vet was finally able to get the two feathers out after a few good pulls, but Mijo cried death cries I'd never heard in my life:eek: :eek: .

The end result is we are both scarred and weary of the other8o 8o . I now totally understand how a relationship with a bird can go so wrong so quick. After telling a few people what happened to my lip, I was asked if I was going to get rid of Mijo or if I hurt him back. I said absolutely not to all comments like these. I have taken a couple steps back and am approaching Mijo cautiously. I need time to gain trust in him again and I'm sure it's the same for him.

[kimsbirds]

I'm so sorry to hear you and Mijo didn't agree today :(
I don't have any experience with Greys so I can't offer any help either. I do like your idea of taking a couple steps back and re-grouping for both of you. Something upset him today and he let you know. Now it's up to you to try to figure it all out.
Best of Luck
K

[Angelwing]

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Laura. Yeah, it's a good idea to step back and take it slowly. I hope there is a day where you can both trust each other more fully. Although I do not have any very large birds, it still hurts my feelings when one of mine bites me. Anyways, good luck.

[linda040899]

Laura,
You forgot bird rule #1. A trust relationship takes time to build and that's on both sides. Mijo has bitten you on the face/lip before so this is not an area in which I would be too trusting. You may never be able to trust that he won't attack your face and there's no punishment to get that point across. Ignoring him is simply a change of venue that he doesn't like. Greys are more intelligent than most birds and it sounds like he's a bit spiteful! One of my favorite movie lines comes from Karate Kid, the original movie, and I remember it each time I handle Georgia. "Best defense no be there!" I always remember what she's capable of and I handle her appropriately.

As for the blood feather issue, the only time I remove blood feathers is if/when the bleeding just won't stop. Blood feathers are very painful so I can understand Mijo's screaming when his were removed. It HURT!!!

My best suggestion right now is forgive Mijo for the biting incident and move on with the relationship. Don't put yourself in a position to be bitten, as you know he will, given proper opportunity. I can do almost anything I want with Dao but he's been with me since 1991. I know him very well and he knows me equally as well. He has his limits and I respect that or I will pay the price.

[Janie]

Laura, :eek: I am so sorry! I can't imagine a bite from a beak that large and powerful. Hang in there and I hope you and Mijo can work this out soon.

[butterfly1061]

Laura,

I'm so sorry to hear about your ordeal with Mijo. Just a bad situation all around. Hopefully things will get better with time, but you know his and your limit. My brother's B&G has an attitude towards me, but we go on with our relationship cause we both know the other's limits. It can be very un-nerving. I'm still very intimidated by Bosco, but we still have a good time together most of the time. :)

[graushill]

Hi Laura,

Pidget bit me on the lip one time, and my eyes welled involuntarily with tears cause it hurt so much. And Pidget's beak is nowhere near the size Mijo's beak is, so I think you're very brave. I hope things get better with your relationship. Like other's have said, it takes time and patience to learn each other's boundaries. I'm sure with all your experience things will work out well in the end :) .


Gloria

[mjm8321]

Oh Laura, I'm sorry about the bite(s) and the setback. I know how frustrating it can be. Ripley, our Senegal, can bite with the best of them and has not bitten me since last year; however that's only because I don't give him any lee-way. Two nights ago he flew (yep, he's almost fully flighted for the first time in at least 4 years) from the living room, into the kitchen and landed on my head. I immediately squished my head down to protect my neck and just froze. Luckily, he was distracted by my barrette and simply attacked that. My husband came and got him and all was fine. He and I have learned our limits with each other. I love him dearly but may never be able to handle him.

I hope the lip heals quickly and that you two can work on bonding without biting or bloodshed.

[BarbieH]

Laura;

I'm sorry you got bit again. Linda's right, trust is a two-way street. Give yourself time to recover -- hold Mijo in ways that are safe for you. I still do that with Gracie; sometimes she still gets an evil look in her eyes, and I don't want her near my face or neck.

And no more beak kisse for Mijo. You'll just feel safer.

Take care,

[LauraO]

Laura,
Greys are more intelligent than most birds and it sounds like he's a bit spiteful!

Spiteful
Main Entry: 1spite
Pronunciation: 'spIt
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, short for despite
1 : petty ill will or hatred with the disposition to irritate, annoy, or thwart
2 : an instance of spite
synonym see MALICE
- in spite of : in defiance or contempt of : without being prevented by

YEP! That pretty much sums up Mijo...Well without the hatred. He's more of the "I'll do whatever I can to irritate you no matter how long or the cost." Maybe in the past that was the only way he got attention. 8o 8o

We are mending our relationship and I'm over being mad. I have been a lot more cautious with him and don't trust him enough for the whole kissy thing:x :x . I've taken to giving him the back of my hand and saying "kiss,kiss" and he will give my hand kisses. I think the main thing with him is he's getting really attached to me and I'd been working so many hours the last month he wasn't getting the one on one time he's used to.

[linda040899]

Sounds like a plan, Laura, at least for now. Depending on how long a bird is in a situation, it can take years to realize that the current situation is different from any previous one(s). They have incredible memories!! My older pair of Orange Wing Amazons taught me that lesson and I've never forgotten it. Sometimes, a relationship will only go so far and that's the best you can hope for. At that point, all you can do is accept what you have and do your best to make the bird happy. Been there, done that, too.

[LauraO]

Linda: I am, no doubt, treading unfamiliar waters with Mijo and only time, patience and understanding will help the situation. It's a fun, scary, annoying, overwhelming, frustrating and rewarding endeavor. More times than not, I feel totally outwitted by Mijo:rolleyes: . I so wish we had parrot behaviorists here. I could use the help:x .

[linda040899]

Laura,
Parrot behaviorists are not always the answer, especially those who think they have the answers and they don't really. The one thing you've got to remember is that they are intelligent but with many parrots is still like living with a perpetual 2 yr. old. Greys and Cockatoos are the most intelligent of the Psittacines and they can be the hardest to deal with. I'm very lucky that I learned naturally to deal with Ginger and Harley. I realize that it can be frustrating and there will be setbacks. You just have to remember what the consequence is for not paying attention to what they are trying to tell you. You can believe that Georgia has a way of conveying to me that my body parts are not safe if I'm not careful. Once you get to know a bird well, you recognize the body language they use and it doesn't change. I know when Georgia fluffs up her feathers and slides down the bars of her cage, I will get bitten if I pursue what I'm doing. Nothing I'm doing (feeding/watering included) is as important as protecting myself. If I back off for a few minutes, chances are I can continue with what I had started and complete the action.

One of the hardest things I have to do with Georgia everyday is put her in her cage when I go to work. Stepping up on my arm is never going to happen and she sees a dowel as a weapon in my hand. Unlike Ginger, she will not go into her cage on command. I wasted a month trying to teach her that trick. Solution? Georgia hates towels, as I have to towel her to clip her flights and her nails. If I offer her a towel, she immediately grabs it and transfers her body to the towel. From there, I simply open the cage door, put the towel near a perch and she lets go of the towel. Not exactly the way I would like to put her in her cage but no one gets hurt and the job gets done. She knows I will let her back out when I come home so she accepts what has to be done.

[sdgilley]

Georgia hates towels, as I have to towel her to clip her flights and her nails. If I offer her a towel, she immediately grabs it and transfers her body to the towel.
:lol :lol
I had to laugh at that! On a much smaller scale, I use a similar technique with Peter. Since he's a dedicated biter, when he decides to be defiant and not go back to his cage on command, I use a wash cloth. I put it over my hand like a hand puppet and the puppet says "cage". He doesn't want me to grab him with that, so he pops inside his cage. A towel over my hand is how I remove him for vet visits or any needed treatment, so he knows that routine!

[linda040899]

I hear you, Suzanne!
That's funny but if it works, that's what you have to do! :lol I haven't figured out how I taught Ginger to go in her cage on command but I wish I could teach all my larger parrots that trick!!!

[Jill Page]

Laura,

I too have a love-hate relationship with my grey, Ziggy, 2 yrs old. And he was such the sweet baby...something happened when he turned 1...i think it was adolescence. He completely turned on me. For at least a year, everytime I went near him he would scream and lunge at me, FOR NO REASON!!! We did move across country during that time and he was exposed to all of the boxes and moving, but ...it was very disturbing. I almost gave up on him and was going to let him go...Now, i am glad I did not. We still have major issues. He broke a couple of blood feathers also and then he became freaked out anytime we came near his cage and now he does not want to come out of his cage...he is getting better tho. Everything is on HIS terms...i get to tickle him ONLY when he wants it...I can't even reward him with a treat because if he does not want it he throws it on the ground!!!! Stepping up is a nightmare, as he will only do it if he is out of the cage. It is a work in progress, and i have gotten bitten as well, but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel, and things are getting better. I got him to step up today, after much lunging and posturing and squawking. I realize that he has to realize that i am the boss of the flock here. They are smart little stinkers tho!

Good luck, don't give up...you will be rewarded in any case..

Jill

[LauraO]

Jill: If it's any consolation, I met a man with a 20 year old Amazon a couple of weeks ago. He said that his amazon mellowed out at about 12 years old, but before that there was a lot of blood and craziness:eek: :eek: ...........

Is Ziggy stick trained? I have learned that Mijo will not step up on my hand while he is in or on top of his cage (He will attack me). So I use a stick and once he's away from his cage his mostly okay.

I have to say that this last bite was the only time I've really been upset with Mijo outside of his fetish for chewing on my library books. Of course, he has now bitten me twice in the face, but I so love him. He is such an interesting, intelligent and challenging pet. Or wait, maybe I'm the one whose the pet???????

[Jill Page]

Laura,

I am starting the stick training. He goes crazy when he sees it and tries to get away from it, flapping all around his cage...it makes me nervous because I don't want him to break a feather...once he is out of the cage though he does what i ask him to do, but if I leave him on a perch and come back in the room, he always flies off. His wings are clipped (baby cut) but he still has trust issues, and i sure don't know why. He is just a nervous nelly.

I hope that i don't have to wait another 10 years!! I have never heard of an Amazon being like that! My Amazon is extremely mellow and cool.

Jill

[sdgilley]

Jill,
:lol You could have been describing my teenage daughter!:lol
I had to chuckle, because it really does seem like they go through puberty just as tough as our human kids. It's good to hear that you hung in there. I think many people think that once an animal is inside our homes, they are no longer wild animals. Parrots are certainly unique with their intelligence, but they are still wild animals. Patience and persistance, we are reminded again and again, are really key to establishing any kind of relationship (on their terms) that we can have.

Laura - I can hear how much you adore Mijo in your words! That really makes me smile, he's lucky to have you.

[Jill Page]

Suzanne, I love the "puppet" idea...alas, I think Ziggy has my number and totally knows it is my hand under there...little stinker that he is.

Jill