Please Help!

[Alicia Marie]

Hey everyone. As some of you already know, I'm new to the forum. To all of those I've already met, thanks for the warm welcomes. :D Of course, like most, I am here for help. I have a little peach faced lovebird named sugar and she is a sweetheart. I love her dearly, and want to have a strong bond with her. However, I'm not sure she wants the same. When I first got her, she was a sweet heart. She's a very fast learner, mastering the cage door in a month. :omg: She was affectionate, loved to learn and play, but that soon went away. I think I know the two things that spurred this change in behavior. Firstly, she became very territorial about her cage. Secondly, my roomate used to hurt her. The latter I didn't find out about until after he had moved out. I guess he would jab at her through the bars with the bar that locks the door. He no longer lives with me because he beat the daylights out of me, but now I need to figure out how to help her trust me. I cried when I found out what he was doing to her when I was at work. :cry: Can someone please help me earn my baby's trust again. I miss bonding with her, and like other people in this forum, I'm scared to handle her for fear of being bit. She draws blood, and won't let go. Please help us. :cry:

[linda040899]

Hi Alicia,
In your intro post, you told us that Sugar has just laid an egg. For the moment, that's the immediate cause for her protectiveness of her cage and her biting demeanor. This is nature and there's nothing you can do for the moment but let Nature take its course. Sugar will be very defensive with anyone/anything that comes near her eggs, even though they are not fertile and won't hatch. She will protect them with her very life, if necessary.

About the only thing you can do right now is talk to her when you are near her cage. Do not do anything that might indicate to her that you mean her or her eggs any harm. She associates abuse with your roommate who moved out, not you but it's going to take a while before she realizes that you are not that same person all over again. There's nothing you can do to hurry that process. Love, kindness and patience are the keys to having Sugar back as a loving companion. Because she's a female, she may always be nippy but you will learn how to read her body language so that you can avoid the bites. You won't be able to break her of biting. All you can do is protect yourself.

[DebSpace]

Hi again, Alicia. I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend was unkind to Sugar. Sounds like she is not going to be approachable for a minimum of three weeks, though. I think you can do a lot to start building trust during this time just by going close to the cage with soft, encouraging words like "What a pretty Sugar," and "Sugar is a GOOD bird." Once she is past this egg-laying situation, let her out of the cage and just try to teach her to "step up" on a perch you are holding, praising her each time she does it. If done consistently for a short time each day, a lovebird will quickly learn the "Step Up" command and know you are pleased when she does this (a treat, like a small piece of apple or the pre-package papaya pieces don't hurt, either!). Patience is key, and I don't want to give false hopes, but eventually the "Step Up" command should help you get her in and out of the cage and perhaps gradually even onto your shoulder or finger without biting. I still have to gently remind Nip not to bite; she particularly likes to land on my head and "nip" my ears. :lol