It's official...Kiko HATES ME!!!

[Susan27]

This is the reason I went looking for a forum and found this lovely community. I thought Kiko would like a friend so I got Touki. Well....little did I know that that wasn't my smartest plan. After about a week, I turned into the enemy.

I would cry quite often because she would try and attack me (really cry...like sobbing). If I happen to get close to her, or if she did happen to land on me...any skin exposed would be bitten...HARD..blood and all.

This is how I have become a lovebirdaholic. I guess I was/am trying to fill the hole in my heart that Kiko left once she became the devil birdie.:evil:

I have done everything suggested. Moved the cage to different places, rearrange the perches/toys etc. NOTHING WORKS. The only time I am allowed to touch her is when she flies to the floor and I return her to the birdie play structures.

I still love my little devil...but it is so heartbreaking (and dang painful) that she is so nasty. There hasn't been any really nesty behaviour for close to 3 months, but the nasty has remained.

Will this be what it will be like FOREVER??? :cry:

[DebSpace]

Oh, I'm sorry, (((Susan))). Nip never lets me touch her with my hands, though I have tried all I know, so I sympathize. I've had plenty of hard bites, but she hasn't actually tried to attack me. If she did, I'm sure I would do some sobbing, too. Although I think there are birds that simply won't allow close interaction, I wouldn't lose hope. You're giving her a good life and she might come around again when you least expect it. We're here for you. :grouphug1

[Susan27]

Thanks Deb. I knew only lovie owners would understand. The only thing though is Kiko used to be my little cuddle muffin...she loved me....I could hold her, she would come to me, on my finger...and and and..

[DebSpace]

That does seem odd to me that she would be cuddly like that with you and change so drastically. Your reaction is perfectly understandable. There are days when I get down about Nip because I just don't know why she doesn't warm up to me more, so I can imagine that your heart is breaking in this situation. :( My thoughts are with you and I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

[kimsbirds]

Susan
I was just reading this thread and a thought occured to me. I wonder if something healthwise is causing Kiko's reluctance to return to her normal cuddly behaviour? Maybe she's got a bit of an infection or maybe she's in a molt right now? These things would certainly cause a grumpy birdie! How about anything shreddable in her area that might still be kicking in the hormones? Is she getting plenty of sleep and proper naps ? Remember, 12 hrs is minimal per night! Is she due for a wing clip? Maybe she feels all superior over you lately?
I would maybe have your vet run a quick evaluation to rule out anything physical for now.
I hope you don't give up on sweet Kiko ( I mean, Cujo! LOL)

[Susan27]

Thanks Kim for the suggestions. Her wings are clipped, they get between 10 and 13 hours a night. Her molt ended last month...not as many feathers at the bottom of her cage. She doesn't try and pull up paper between the bars at the bottom. I let her and Touki out for play time. I have taken away any type of soft cozies...they do have a coconut and a acrylic hanging box....but they haven't filled it was any nesting material. They get popsicle sticks which they shred, but don't hoard the shreds.

Sometimes I get the impression that she is very possessive and protective of Touki. From what I have read and previous suggestions, she is probably cage territorial. The only thing I haven't tried was separating Kiko and Touki...probably because that just seems mean to me. They are happy in their little world, who am I to change them.

I have been meaning to collect poop samples to take to the vet from all my birds. Also I am going to be taking my newest Samson and Delilah to the vets...

I won't be giving up my Kiko (evil as she is) but I may just have to accept that I am not her number one anymore. She still gets to come to the popcorn parties....:happy:

[ottermom]

Do you ever give Kiko any time with you one on one like it used to be before you got Touki? She may enjoy that 'mommy time'.

Good luck! Mine were bonded when I got them, so I'm the new guy in my flock.

[Buy A Paper Doll]

Aw, Kiko doesn't HATE you. She just doesn't want to cuddle anymore now that she's a grownup birdy. You can still have a really good relationship with your bird even though she doesn't want to be petted. I have one just like Kiko - trust me, I know how you feel.

When my Melody was a baby, she was an absolute doll. A sweet, gentle little bird. I could hold her and pet her all day and she would not bite me. Her adult personality is a bit different. She doesn't like to cuddle anymore. But you know what? She LOVES her momma. She sees me walk in the room and she starts bobbing her head to fly to me. She just HAS to be ON my person at all times. I make kissy noises, she makes kissy noises back. I play "peekaboo" with her and she hops and chirps in excitement. Occasionally I can sneak a kissy on her back when she's going in her cage for the night. She's a wonderful bird with a wonderful personality. Just don't put your fingers anywhere near her. And keep her away from your face unless you're looking to have your nose or lip pierced.

[sdgilley]

And keep her away from your face unless you're looking to have your nose or lip pierced.
:rofl:
I have a bird that will bite exposed skin, too. He was never cuddly, but I don't think he was a baby when I got him. He was my first birdie, and I love him. When I paired him with another male, I became second fiddle for a while. Now he's back to loving me, but it took a long time.

My hen, on the other hand, was a baby and was cuddly. It's not the same with her as an adult. She likes to play on me, but she doesn't cuddle at all. Her mission: to seek out and shred stuff for a nest. She's not a biter like yours unless she's on the nest. I used to sit with her on the couch and she'd sleep inside my shirt. No way can I do that now. I have to stay on the move because she's certain there is stuff out there to shred.

How long have you had Kiko? I've had Peter for three and a half years. He's really a great bird (my biter) and I've seen him go through changes in the 3+ years.

Patience and persistance!

[LauraO]

Kiko does not hate you and your coming to that realization is the first step in getting a better understanding of her as a grown bird and what you can do about the biting:confused: .

I think this post is important because all too many times we have unrealistic expectations for our lovies, and all parrots for that matter. Of course they are cuddly when they are babies, but things change as they grow and mature. In the wild, baby birds look to their parents to teach them stuff, but when they mature they leave the nest and make their own life. This is exactly opposite of what the pet industry tells us. They say, get a baby young so it will bond with you, but what happens later on is of no concern to them. Sometimes birds will bond for life with humans but this is not always the case, and anytime you introduce a new bird into your flock you risk the relationship you have with your current flock whether it be a flock of 2 (human and bird) or a flock of 20.

The relationship you had with Kiko may very well be over, but it's not something to cry over. Take that time to reassess your relationship and work with what you got. You now have a large flock of birds that need socializing so having Kiko cuddle is not as necessary as dealing with the biting. It can be frustrating for owners of dedicated biters, but it is not hopeless, just time consuming. The best thing you can do is to understand her triggers and avoid them.

I also wanted to say that my Zimberhoffen is the most cutest, loving, sweetest bird in the world. He spends tons of time with my husband and I playing. He loves beaker kisses, toe biting, hanging off our heads and faces, eating our meals together, brushing teeth and bathing, and on and on and on. We've had Zimber over six years and he HATES HANDS. He was one of those crazy petshop birds that are as wild as the wind. When he was young, he would do anything to stay as far away from a hand as he could. I mean he'd be sittin' on the other side of the room and he would dive bomb off whatever he was sittin' on if one finger on either of your hands even twitched. I am not exagerating. We just sort of stopped trying to touch him, trained him to step up on a stick and just sort of moved on from there. He's not really afraid of hands anymore but still hates them and he knows us well enough that when he gets real crazy we'll put our hands up like we're going to touch him and he'll fly away and chirp real loud. Of course, he's back two seconds later. The funniest thing is he'll even step up on our hands.....if he's in the mood:x . This relationship did not happen overnight. It took years and we never gave up.