Need help taming a love bird

[LauraO]

I can't help but think the major problem with Hawk is his not knowing if and when he is going to get grabbed. He does not trust that you will trust and respect his space and comfort. I currently have 26 lovebirds and have had lovies going on 11 years, and know for certain that most tame and untame lovies will become and continue to be jumpy when they think they may be grabbed at some point. This is a major reason I think you should avoid touching or grabbing Hawk at all costs. In my mind, the only time you should put your hands on Hawk til' he builds trust is if there is a medical condition or immediate danger. If he flails to the ground, this is the perfect time to get a stick and gently work with him on stepping up on it to get him back on his playgym. Use voice commands, a gentle voice, and be totally patient. If Hawk starts getting upset, then give him a few minutes to calm down and try again. I would also talk to Hawk in a soft voice like he is a person, and let him know what you are going to do. I also suggest you continue to leave his cage door open and let him continue to come out and be on his playgym. Who cares if he doesn't play with toys. He will do what he wants and that's what counts. I guarantee if you stop touching him and give him time, he will learn that you are not going to grab him and he will become more comfortable and let you get closer.

I would definately not get another bird right now. It sounds like Hawk is a work in progress and needs your time and attention. Once you guys build trust, then I think putting some thought into another lovie is a good idea. Right now, another bird would be too much and take away the time Hawk needs with you.

BTW, Hawk is beautiful. He's a slate masked lovie. I have a slate masked Named Olive who has a peachface Creamino as a mate.

[linda040899]

Shinbatsu,
There are a LOT of very good suggestions/ideas contained in this thread and I'm very glad you came to us looking for help with your lovebird! I'm going to stick this to the top of the forum so that the information contained here is very easy to find.

[Pips mom]

I agree with fuzzyaga's idea of trying to immitate what your lovie does. I have always done this kind of thing with my birds. We're supposed to be the ones teaching them to immitate us, but here it's the other way around! I can tell that my birds like it when I try to communicate with them this way. It shows them that I want to communicate with them.
Also when it comes to the grabbing thing, I agree also. Rudy totally flips out if we try to grab him or hold him, so we avoid it at all costs. With Pip, he was never like that. Yes, he didn't want to be held or touched, but he wasn't fearful of it, so we could pick him up against his will at times and it was no big deal. Now he knows when we pick him up that we don't hold onto him for too long so he tolerates it pretty well now and even seems to not mind at all most of the time.

[shinbatsu]

This morning when I was cleaning the cage he kind of hopped out. Instead of scooping him up and giving him skritches to calm him down, I just plopped him down on my laptop screen.

He looked kind of panicked at first, but I just worked on my computer, did not touch him or look at him directly. He calmed down and stretched out, made himself comfy and did some beak grinding.

He hopped off with no incident onto my finger, he was a little scared, but I took him back to his cage in one trip. He usually flies off my finger and it takes two to three attempts to get him in the cage. I'm using a strategy where I distract him with my other hand. If he sees his cage in the distance, he tries to fly to it, doesn't make it, then hits the ground kind of hard. With the wind knocked out of him, he gets even more scared, and I end up having to chase him. Now I just distract him until we are right in front of the cage, then let him hop off onto his favorite perch.

I guess that is progress of some sort. There are times where I think it's more trouble than it's worth, but it's hard to give up on such a great looking bird.

Here are a few other pictures of me training him when I first got him and before he became skittish and traumatized. You can see in one of the pictures he used to climb out of his cage on his own and perch on my hand.

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/7144/dsc00122ya.jpg

http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/9961/dsc00138cj.jpg

http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/8405/dsc09896t.jpg

http://img410.imageshack.us/img410/7563/dsc09912h.jpg

Thanks for the support and advice. I originally tried a different forum based on it having the biggest member base, and got almost no help at all. This community may not be the biggest, but it is full of knowledgeable and most of all DEDICATED people. I give you guys credit.

[Chickobee]

Wow! Sorry this got so long!!! Good luck with Hawk!

I have just now read through this entire thread and see there is so much good advice here. It sounds as if you are offering him lots of good food, toys, and you want him to be your friend. That is all very good, so don't be discouraged if he doesn't know yet that you mean well.

If Hawk is only three months old he is still very much a baby. Young lovebirds go through an adolescent stage and they can become bitey and territorial about their cages. Unfortunately, you may have gotten him when he was starting this stage, so that may be another factor along with all of the other changes he is adjusting to. This does pass, but during this time you will want to be careful to not reinforce the bad behaviors like biting. This is a very normal occurrence for young birds but they usually become sweet again after a few months.

Did you notice I said "months"?

You haven't had your lovebird very long so it hasn't had time to adjust to all of the changes yet. Birds are not like puppies or kittens who love everyone immediately. It takes most of them a while to feel safe and to develop trust in their new environment. If you can learn to go slowly the rewards will be well worth it.

This process cannot be rushed, and your bird will set the pace, not you.

Anything you do to try to force your bird or speed up the taming process will usually backfire-- big time.

Any small steps in the right direction are progress.

Holding a piece of millet in your hand with the millet inside your bird's cage and sitting quietly beside the cage talking quietly to your bird may encourage him to come forward a bit. It may take several days of these sessions before your bird is brave enough to take even a single step forward toward the millet.

Eventually he will come forward to eat the millet. During these sessions he should always be free to retreat back into his safe corner any time he wants to. These sessions should be fairly short (about 15-20 minutes) and non-confrontational for your bird.

Later on he will come forward more quickly. As he gets to feel more comfortable you can begin moving the millet farther onto your hand so that eventually he will need to put at least one foot onto your hand to take his bites. You may need to do this for days or even weeks before he will eventually feel safe enough to stand on your hand.

Please note that all of this is happening inside of his cage and he can always go back to his safe corner when he is scared.

During this VERY SLOW process you are teaching your bird that you are not someone to fear.

You can substitute a stick or perch for your hand and teach your bird to step onto it instead. As you progress with this training (over a period of weeks, not hours), and your bird is comfortable being on the perch or your hand, you will finally be able to begin moving the bird to the door of the cage and finally out the door.

At all times your bird must be able to retreat back to his safe zone when he gets scared.

Another thing to keep in mind is that many lovebirds do not like being held and won't allow any petting. Even the most tame birds can be ones who will go anywhere with you, they love being on their special person, but won't allow any touching. It's a bird thing!

Your little Hawk just needs your time and patience while he gets to know you. He's such a cute little guy!

Oh, and with the food things... It can take weeks of receiving a new food every single day before your bird will even taste it. When there is a flock and they see other birds eating different foods they will copy them, but a single bird doesn't have that advantage. Hawk doesn't realize that all of the good things you are offering him are safe to eat, so don't give up. Keep offering him the "good stuff" but in the meantime continue to give him the seeds he enjoys so he doesn't starve to death before he tries them.

If you get another lovebird it may be harder for you to tame Hawk because he may want to be with his birdie buddy instead of you.

Our paired birds all prefer their mates to us but they will come out to be with us as a pair. If we take out only one they will just call each other until we go get their partner anyway. They always win!

[linda040899]

I originally tried a different forum based on it having the biggest member base, and got almost no help at all. This community may not be the biggest, but it is full of knowledgeable and most of all DEDICATED people. I give you guys credit.

Thank you! We are smaller than many of the other boards because we specialize in just one species of small parrot. While we discuss other parrots, we don't get into the same level of detail. Our mission is to make life for our lovies as good as it gets and, yes, we are all dedicated to that end!

Hawk is a gorgeous lovebird and it will be well worth the effort you are putting into him. Many of us have more than one kind of parrot but the same things we talk about here apply across the board. There are no short cuts to the relationship you want but it's definitely worth it in the end! We are all very glad you've joined us here. We won't steer you wrong.

[bookworm0550]

you have been given awesome advice. i started to write yesterday but i had too much goin on at my place. def watch the grabbing. i have a bird (pantalaimon) i used to always grab and he hates hands big time. he'll bite whereas the ones i never grabbed, they don't bite and they don't hate hands. taming and earning trust takes time so be patient. being consistent w/ handling them as well helps.

i would hold off on getting another bird and focus on hawk for now. just because a bird is handfed doesn't mean that they'll be trusting and tame cuz you still have to work on them, but then again, that's up to the individual bird. For example, Hermes was hand fed and she trusted me right away whereas i had to work with the other three--joey, evie, and Pan--(which they were handfed as well, all from the same breeder). Pan took months and months for him to settle in and to trust me. like i wrote above, he hates hands, but it took a lot of positive reinforcement work and patience for him to come around.

if it makes you feel better, I am still workin on Chompers (who i got back in august). it helps that he likes hermes so when she's on me, he'll be on me too. but still, i want him to be at a point where he's comfortable enough to step up and not be freaked out. he's still very skittish with me. even when im changing his food and water bowl

good luck i know, it feels like they're never goin to like you, but just keep working, being patient, using positive reinforcement, etc.. and he'll come around. I find that the flooding technique never works (my own experience and others that i read about online).

[LauraO]

He looked kind of panicked at first, but I just worked on my computer, did not touch him or look at him directly. He calmed down and stretched out, made himself comfy and did some beak grinding.

I think this is definately what you are looking for in terms of getting Hawk comfortable with just being with you. I also think, looking at your pics, you are farther along with Hawk than you realize. He obviously is not terrified of you if he is letting you get that close to him and he steps up on a stick. Remember, just as you are wanting to train Hawk to behave in a certain way, you also have to work on your behavior and expectations of Hawk. You have a beautiful bird that is really really progressed in taming for the short time you've had him. So continue being patient and Hawk will continue to grow and show you his fun side.

[linda040899]

I think you are doing a great job with Hawk, especially when you say he was sitting comfortably on your computer monitor grinding his beak! Lovebirds don't do this if they are uncomfortable or afraid. You are definitely on the right track!

It's not been mentioned before, but, by nature, Masked Lovebirds are a bit flightier, more timid and shy than Peachfaced. They can make wonderful pets so you are not trying to do the impossible. Several of our members have delightful Masked companions and you will get what you are looking for if you continue doing what you are doing now.

[shinbatsu]

I think this is definately what you are looking for in terms of getting Hawk comfortable with just being with you. I also think, looking at your pics, you are farther along with Hawk than you realize. He obviously is not terrified of you if he is letting you get that close to him and he steps up on a stick. Remember, just as you are wanting to train Hawk to behave in a certain way, you also have to work on your behavior and expectations of Hawk. You have a beautiful bird that is really really progressed in taming for the short time you've had him. So continue being patient and Hawk will continue to grow and show you his fun side.

Those pictures were from before when I first got him and was training him. So they were taken before he was scared of me.